Balancing

Balancing what you see vs. the real me, your perception against reality.  You have an idea in your head as to what Homelessness looks like...and I don't look like that, don't smell, like that, don't talk like that...but I am that.  There is always a fine, delicate line between exposing the truth of my situation against someone wanting to push me into a box of "their own personal truths" (ludicrous idea...Truth has nothing to do with what you personally think and believe.  Truth is immutable.).  I can refuse to be stigmatized, but that doesn't change the fact that there are many who feel a certain way about the Homeless (many times in spite of the facts!) and that is that.  I suppose that is one of the reasons God put me here, to challenge those stereotypes.  LOL, God has been using me and my family to smash stereotypes ever since I can remember, just preparation I suppose (no coincidences in life, people).

What helps me in being able to stand boldly in front of you all and proclaim that "I am Homeless" stems from the fact that I have purpose in this situation.  I needed the humility that this situation brought, the discipline that I am learning, and the steadfastness of purpose.  But most of all, I have learned (and am learning) to love God the right way, by unconditionally loving His children.  Everyday there is help to be given, tempers to be calmed and hope to be distributed.  Do you know what it is like to help a grown man finally look at his situation differently?  To see him give himself another chance, to learn to like others and himself for maybe the first time in life?  Like helping with the Homeless meal in Forsythe Park on Sunday or just sitting back and letting someone finally take off their heavy burdens and get a little rest by just LISTENING...these are good things.  This is what Love should look like. 

I am not tooting my own horn here; it's just that...I get it now.  I used to feel sympathy for the Homeless, pass on a few bucks... even offered a guy a pair of my shoes once.  But that is not living with that man, talking to him, praying for him...and then feeling the Rage and Indignation build inside you (But always, ALWAYS tempered by LOVE) until you are moved to act to help these brothers and sisters, my brothers and sisters, up and out of the mire - even if it means you have to stay in the mire a little while longer.

Martin Luther King, sir, I get it.  Mother Theresa, ma'am I get it, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Harriett Tubman...I see.  Don't you see, dear reader, some things are just more important than the outward trappings, the material, and the OBVIOUS.  Sometimes you are compelled to ride a wave that, by its nature, towers over your own personal circumstances.  You may look at me as trapped where I am...but honestly, I have never felt more FREE! 

You may think whatever you will from here on out...I am doing the work that feels like the breath of life filling my soul and I sleep...satisfied.  I am sold out to this purpose.

So here we are, balancing...

…and I would gladly perform this balancing act till I can't stand anymore.